When going through a divorce, there are a number of things that you need to make sure that you don’t do. These mistakes can alter the way that the proceedings go and can in some cases even keep you from being able to get divorced. Each state and city have their own set of laws that they go by when deciding if a divorce will be granted and under what terms it will be granted under. Knowing the few things to not do will help you to have a lot smoother of a divorce. It is better to learn from the mistakes of others than to repeat the same mistakes that they made during their divorce.
Don’t get allow a pregnancy during a divorce.
This can complicate things to a great deal. There have been cases that a divorce is not granted simply because the woman got pregnant and the judge didn’t want the unborn baby to not have a father that could provide for it and the mother during the pregnancy. Even if the father is not your spouse, the divorce could very well be denied. Another reason why getting pregnant is bad, it could show that adultery took place during the divorce and that you were unfaithful. Best bet is to avoid becoming pregnant until after the divorce is finalized.
Don’t forget to change your will
When you are dealing with a divorce, you may not be thinking clearly. This means that you may overlook the changing of your will. This is a common mistake that can be easily made if you are distracted with the proceedings that are going on. If your will is left unchanged, then you could die and your new spouse still be left with nothing as your ex spouse will have a right to what is theirs in the will. These can be changed at any time so do not hesitate to take care of this little matter, as it will be better in the long run.
Don’t dismiss the use of a mediator.
While it has been overlooked in a lot of divorces as a way to come to a fair agreement, the use of a mediator, will generally make the process a lot less stressful and help to ensure that both parties are getting a fair deal in the end. Often an attorney or lawyer is not allowed in these sessions, this does not mean that you can’t consult with your lawyer during the process to ensure that you are getting a fair deal. Don’t go into this expecting this to be a quick process. Many people will assume that this is a one time deal and that it will be over after one meeting. The truth of the matter, is that this is more about an on-going process that has to be dealt with in a careful manner, don’t expect a miracle in one meeting.
It is never a good idea to sleep with your lawyer
This sounds to be funny, but a number of states have laws in place that deal with this subject. Depending on where you live can determine if the relationship is able to continue or if you will be seen as committing adultery. It is tempting to sleep with them as you are in a bad place in your life at the moment and you are in need of someone to care and listen. A client attorney relationship is as close as you can get in most cases and will often lead to you letting your emotions take over and lead you to their bed. It is advised that even if you and the attorney have been seeing each other before the divorce that you refrain from sleeping together, to avoid the trap that you committed some sin by being in a relationship.
Your kids are innocent in all of this so refrain from taking this out on them.
Many couples will take their frustrations with their spouse out on their kids. You need to remember that this is not their fault and that they are confuses as to what is going on. If they are older, then they are aware of what divorce is and what it involves and ultimately will mean. Those that are younger are not as aware and will often think that it is their fault to begin with, then if you begin to take this out on them, they will have these feelings intensified and will take on the responsibility of the divorce. Sit down and talk with them to explain what is going on and why this is happening. Explain that this is not their fault and that you love them more than anything. This will help a great deal for them to be able to cope.
Don’t be dismissive of the timing of your divorce, it is important
It is better to get the impending divorce underway before the holidays. Often a person will think that it is good to wait till the holidays are over, the truth of the matter, is that this is a bad idea. Go ahead and start this before the holidays hit,. It will be easier to adjust to an empty house during the holidays as opposed to dealing with this right after a very joyous time of your life. Many attorneys will give you this advice and tell you to not wait till the holidays are over.
Don’t rule out therapy
The last thing to not do is to refuse to see a therapist during this period. There is a lot of benefits that can come from you taking the time to see a therapist. This will help you to cope with this already stressful time in your life. This will even help you to talk to your kids. As you can see these are a few of the things that you do not want to do when going through a divorce. Knowing these things will help you in the long run to not make any mistakes that others before you have made so many times before.