Okay you have discovered that a divorce is on the horizon. This can mean a lot of emotions will get stirred up and will often lead to a person not knowing what it is that they need to do when they discover that they are heading for a divorce. Knowing the steps that you need to take will not make the process any less painful, but it will help in making it easier. Take a few moments to review these tips to help you get past the initial shock of being told your marriage is about to end.
Do not play the blame game.
At this point there is nothing that will come from the pointing of fingers when dealing with this subject. The best thing is to accept it and to let the legal process sort out the details. There is however some things that you can do that will prepare you for the road ahead should it get nasty and rough. Doing some preventative measures will secure that your covered should things break down into the land of getting ugly.
Few divorces go quickly enough and smoothly that a lawyer is not needed. Unless you are tossing your hands up and letting your spouse have it all and not fighting the divorce, you need someone to fight for you and what you deserve from the failed marriage. Take your time though and don’t make a blind selection for the lawyer that will represent you in court. Look at all your options and make a wise decision based on the criteria that you have set forth. After you accomplish this, then the real work will begin for you.
Make a copy of any and all documents that you may need.
The biggest area that a person makes a mistake in, is that they will generally forget to make a copy of a financial document that they needed to prove why they need alimony. Slow down and look at all of the documents that you will need and determine the ones that you need to have copies of. Once you do this get the copies made and place these somewhere safe for when and if you need them. Even something as simple as a copy of a bank statement can make all the difference in the world.
Make an inventory of the possessions you and your spouse have.
This includes any thing your children have if you have any. Doing this step will make life easier when it comes time to split up possessions that you and your spouse have. If there is a list, then you can present this to your lawyer and they will be able to go to the judge and show the judge what all you and the spouse have. This will help to make sure that when items are split up, you are not left out in the cold.
Figure out the debt situation.
There is one area of divorce that gets a little touchy at times and that is the allocation of marital debt. Go through all of the bills and sort out what is what. If there is any debt that was incurred before the marriage, then that will be the responsibly of the person that incurred the debt before the marriage and thus will not be on you to have to worry about. If it is possible, try to get the debt paid down as to eliminate this from the proceedings if possible.
This can be useful for either person involved in the divorce. If the spouse moves out and stops paying bills, then you will need to cover these until an order can be issued temporarily. If you are the one that is going to file, then you should build your savings up and when you are in a position that you can afford to file go ahead with the divorce. It is important that you are financially covered for the time during the divorce.
Sit down and talk to your kids if you have any.
They will be going through a lot depending on the severity of the divorce. A simple non aggressive divorce would be the ideal situation. The truth of the matter, is that this is not the case and you will often have to deal with the kids wanting to know why you are getting divorced. It is important that you are understanding to your kids thoughts and feelings. Sit down and let them talk to you about this.
It may not do any good, but it never hurts to sit down with your spouse and talk things out.
This can’t hurt things as some divorces could be avoided if the two parties involved were to sit down and just talk to one another. If the other spouse is not open to this, then see if there is a compromise that can be reached. If this is not the case, then you best prepare for a long road during the divorce. The least you can do is try. This can and in some cases has led to the two parties seeing that they had a misunderstanding and allowed them to save their marriage.
Regardless of what you may have heard, you can survive this divorce and get past the rough times that may be ahead. As long as you know what to do when you discover that your marriage is over, you will get through this. The most important tip that you need to remember is to always take care of yourself. This can be a tough time to get through, but if you take care of yourself, then you will get through it without the damage that many others in your position tend to incur during the whole process. In the end it is all about keeping your head up and getting through this.